Recalling the “Cold Call” That Started His 36-Year Marriage to Pam Dawber, Mark Harmon

Recalling the "Cold Call" That Started His 36-Year Marriage to Pam Dawber, Mark Harmon
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Mark Harmon didn’t hold back when it came to making his first move on his wife Pam Dawber.

37 years ago, the former NCIS actress tells PEOPLE, a cold call resulted in their first date.

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The author told PEOPLE about a mutual acquaintance who wanted to arrange a group date for him and the Mork & Mindy star. The book, Ghosts of Honolulu: A Japanese Spy, a Japanese American Spy Hunter, and the Untold Story of Pearl Harbor, is scheduled to be released on November 14.

However, Harmon, 72, favored a more straightforward strategy. “Can I just give you a call? Could I just acquire a number and call people? Thus, I acted. When I called the number I had received, an answering machine answered. I then began to write a message that said, “We don’t have to go out together.” Perhaps we should grab a cup of coffee. After that, she picked up while keeping an eye on everything. That evening, we went out, and we have been dating ever since.

A year later, “to the day,” he claims, the two got married.

Shortly after Harmon was named PEOPLE’s Sexiest Man Alive in 1986, they went on that fateful first date. Harmon stated to PEOPLE in the cover story interview that he was waiting for a long-term marriage and wasn’t searching for a relationship.

At the time, Harmon declared, “I’m fine being alone like I am now. I’m real monogamous by nature.” “I want my marriage to be everything this town says it cannot be when I get married. I don’t enjoy playing around.

The couple’s two thirty-year-old boys, Sean, an actor who has starred on NCIS, and Ty, a screenwriter, are their children today. “I’m happy for our boys,” Harmon says. “They’re very different and they understand the work ethic.”

What’s the key to Dawber’s and his longevity?

As Harmon puts it, “I have no secret.” We chuckle. You have to converse and interact, and you have to laugh. It’s the enjoyable part. Shall we discuss that over a seat? Nope. Perhaps you’re just lucky enough to locate the one. We are really different even though we have a lot in common.

His first choice to play Special Agent Gibbs on NCIS—which eventually led to a 19-season run with Hamon in the lead role—was heavily influenced by his desire to spend more time with his family.

“It was crucial to have the ability to prepare pancakes on Saturday morning,” remarks Harmon, who would later appear in scenes alongside Dawber on NCIS as journalist Marcie Warren.

And sometimes that meant not getting enough sleep. You just returned home, showered, and got back down. Nevertheless, when I think back on it, I don’t miss the sleep. Even though I was working and still missed things, I was still involved in [my son’s] life. I’ve got more time to spend with them now. We’ve had a wonderful chance, in many respects, to develop as a family.

According to Harmon, gratitude is a constant in his life. “I feel so lucky,” he remarks. “I don’t ever get up not thinking that.”

On November 14, Harmon’s book Ghosts of Honolulu: A Japanese Spy, a Japanese American Spy Hunter, & the Untold Story of Pearl Harbor, co-written by retired real-life NCIS special agent Leon Carroll Jr., will be available everywhere books are sold.

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